Choices

In the past year or so, some of my neighbors have become grandparents. The three new moms involved had to make an important choice in their lives. One of these new moms chose to stay home with her baby, leaving her career behind. Another of the young moms chose to hire a babysitter and continue working full-time. And then the third new mom took a leave of absence for one year from her job and will choose what to do at the end of that year.

Hearing about these choices made me think back upon my own experience as a new mother. I chose to stay at home until my youngest was in school full-time. Then I returned to my profession as a schoolteacher, part-time as a substitute teacher. An opportunity came up for me to replace a teacher who was on maternity leave. That would mean putting in several weeks as a full-time teacher. I decided to do it.

At the time, home computers were becoming a necessary part of family life with growing children and the "extra money" could be used to purchase one. Each day that I put in was a very long one. I spent each day trying to be a "good teacher" for my students and then a "good mom" for my own children. At the end of the several weeks,  I decided that this was not for me at this time. Although the extra income was helpful, the added stress of juggling both worlds was not what I wanted. I felt that as my children grew older, it would be easier to return to a full-time position. But what I did not anticipate was that as my children grew older so did my parents and now they were needing me more as they lost their independence. 

I have come to realize that life is a series of choices. The choices that we make are only right for ourselves. For example, there is no one answer for the choice of staying home to raise your children or to continue working. In today's economy, two salaries are now very much needed to maintain family life. They are not going towards extravagances but paying basic bills. This economic need will shape the decision as to what many new mothers will choose.

In my home I keep a calendar for all appointments and important events coming up. But I always write on it in pencil because many times dates are changed or cancelled and I can just erase them. I like to think about important choices that we make in the same way. They might have to be erased and changed as the circumstances of your life change. We can plan but we must realize that those plans sometimes have to be re-done.

Life is a series of choices. Choose carefully but do not be afraid to change your choice if you feel that it is necessary. Keep that pencil handy!